Seriously, my face is prone to temporary disfigurement. Back in mid-summer, I took a line drive to the face at third base while playing co-softball. The guy who hit the ball was a big, burly man, and the ball dropped right in front of me, took a crazy bounce, and slammed directly into my eyebrow just above my eye. It hurt. Naturally, my eye completely swelled shut, and I was forced to the ER to have it x-rayed and to make sure there was no damage to my eye. It was all good, and I had one of the most crazy black eyes I’ve ever seen. I found the whole experience to be quite amusing, and had way too much taking pictures and going out in public to watch people’s reactions. I also took the opportunity to accuse my then-boyfriend of beating me anytime there was someone around to listen. He didn’t care for that at all.
At any rate, that was a couple of months ago. This weekend, disfiguration once again struck my face.
I’m allergic to aspirin, and have made it a point to avoid all NSAIDs just to be on the safe side. I went to visit my parents this weekend, though, and on Saturday my bad knee was acting up. My dad offered me some sort of anti-inflammatory for it, and I guess neither one of us was really thinking, because I took it. About an hour later, I started to feel my lip getting puffy, and asked my parents if they could tell. At first they didn’t notice anything, but within about 10 minutes confirmed that my lip was getting fat. That was just the beginning! Within an hour, the entire right side of my face was swollen. My eye could barely open, I had fat chipmunk cheeks, and the platypus lip phenomenon was in full swing. (When I first discovered my allergy a few years ago, my upper lip – and my upper lip only – would swell up. I affectionately call this the “Platypus.”).
Here’s how I looked on Saturday night:
I’m normally not quite that pretty. Not quite.
At any rate, two ER visits (too long of a story as to why there were two), a shot of something with a very, very odd side effect, and several Benedryls later, my face is starting to look much more normal. The fact that Derick insisted on poking my fat jowls yesterday hasn’t helped much, but it sure was funny.
Oh yes. I’m looking sexy.
Through the Peephole 