Heading East Out of the Sun August 1, 2009

I made the solo trek from my home to my parents last night and, with the memories of a fairly eventful week behind me, had a few hours of incredible scenery and solitary thought to mull and muse over a lot of things. My delightful drive gave me the time to come to some new conclusions and to reinforce some pre-existing ones.

So here’s a list of things that have crossed my mind. Call it a week in review. Call it a life in review. But here it is:

• I love my life. For better and for worse, I am so blessed in so many ways, and I’m set on doing more to be appreciative of it.
• I really can’t find a dining deal better than Little Caesar’s Hot ‘n Ready pizzas. I’m willing to put up money for someone to try to do it. It can’t be done.
• I’m am completely and totally where I want to be in my career. I don’t make much money & I don’t have much prestige, but I love my work and I realize more each day how much I enjoy working with college students.
• My parents, my brothers and my Casey are my very best friends in the world, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
• Despite my affection & love for Bootzilla, I’m still totally a dog person. And even when I get a new dog, I will never stop missing Pavlov.
• But I do love Bootzilla!
• There are a number of bands/artists I could listen to everyday and never tire of them. The short list includes the Eagles, Randy Rogers Band, Ragweed, Sheryl Crow, Dolly Parton and Toad the Wet Sprocket. All timeless in my book.
• It is possible to live without an Xbox 360. It’s just not as fun.
• Exposed bone definitely does not equal cool.
• Dusk is the best time to listen to any early Eagles tunes. Incidentally, this event can alleviate bad moods instantly for me.
• I really need to become fluent in Spanish. Ahora.
• I’m glad to be moving, but I hope to not be moving again anytime soon. I have every intention of settling into my new place for the long-haul.
• My desire to drive to fast has greatly been alleviated with age. Or the plethora of tickets I’ve racked up. One of those.
• At the end of the day, I want nothing more from life than to be a good person, to help someone if I can, and for the people I love to be happy. And a nice cold glass of Coke Zero. And maybe a banana.
• I don’t like the majority of music that’s coming out right now … that goes for all genres. Call me a musical time warp, or just call me old. Either way, I don’t like it.
• I have a number of friends that I don’t see or talk to much anymore. I miss them.
• I’m actually kind of looking forward to fall this year. I still love summer, but it turns out fall ain’t so bad in these parts.
• I see a lot of both of my parents in myself. That makes me very, very happy.
• I’m totally a morning person.
• Southern Missouri is very pretty. Texas will always be home to me, but each year I find myself feeling more and more at home right where I am.
• I don’t know how I ever lived without a DVR.
• I like molasses cookies.
• I am worried for my country, but more than worried, I am frustrated & angry by my fellow Americans. I just have no idea what to do about it.
• I really, really hate talking on the phone.
• Hey Cow is the most fun road trip game ever.
• I am happy.

Rising Out of the Ashes June 29, 2009

OK, so that title is a little dramatic than it should be. Obviously there’s been a bit of a hiatus around here. I foresee that changing. Not because I’m attempting to force myself to write again … not that at all. Instead, it’s because I feel like writing again.

I’m back at the point where I’m writing posts in my head while I vacuum or work in the yard or drive to work. That’s a good thing.

So be looking … and watching … because guess what kids? I’m back!

Life in the Twittersphere March 24, 2009

“So, what exactly is Twitter?”

A co-worker posed that question to me today after I’d shared with her a weather update that one of the local news outlets had tweeted. I stared at her blankly for a few moments, then fumbled around with some sort of explanation.

The organization that I work for has been hesitant to step into the realm of social networking sites as a means of marketing and communication. Because of that – and because I’m expected to be the knower of all things online in my office – I field a lot of questions about how people and companies use these tools. Generally, I think I do a good job at explaining them, offering reasons why we might (or might not) want to explore various options.

But the Twitter one caught me off-guard today, possibly because I’m relatively new to the Twittersphere. A few months ago, I decided that if I am, in fact, going to stick with this whole Internet career, I’d better get with the times. I signed up for a Twitter account. I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do with it. I tweeted to my brother, who was less than 20 feet from me at the time, that I’d like him to accompany me to McAlister’s for lunch. I’d tweet that I was hungry. I’d tweet that I had on orange shoes. I’d tweet all of the ridiculously trite details of my not-so-interesting life that I figured no one really cared about.

And that was the thing … for awhile, no one was following (except my brother, who was schooling me in the ways of Twitter). But I’d still tweet. The entire definition of communication is based on the concept of a sender and a receiver. I was sending. No one was receiving. I was not, in fact, communicating anything. I found the whole thing to be perplexing and odd, but I kept doing it. Finally, though, I started exploring a little more and seeing what other people were doing.

I realized that people were using Twitter for hundreds of different purposes. Some people want feed back from friends and, I suppose, complete strangers on a variety of topics ranging from what to make for dinner to where to get a good margarita in town. Other tweets revolved around business and company news. Still others were just sharing that they were hungry or wearing orange shoes.

As time has gone on, I’ve found that I’m more of a Twitter lurker. I check my feed throughout the day on my trusty mobile device (I think I’ve only actually been to twitter.com twice), and I do tweet once every couple of days. Even then, I don’t know who I’m tweeting to. It’s a very, very bizarre phenomenon, but admittedly an addictive one.

In fact, our local CVB here tweeted a link to this video today, which is both hilarious and frighteningly true.

And on that note, Follow Me!

iQuarterback: Must Have App for iPhone / iPod Touch March 24, 2009

OK, I hate football. Well, I guess I don’t necessarily hate football. It just doesn’t do much for me. But there’s a new iPhone app that most definitely does something for me: iQuarterback.

This game must be made from the same crack-like substance that iMob is made from. (I’m addicted to both, except that iQuarterback requires more motor skills while iMob requires a bit more strategy).

At any rate, does it help that the developers are great guys with a lot of talent? Yep. But it’s an awesome game regardless, and at 99 cents will be the cheapest hours of entertainment you’ll find.

Read more at Fuzzy Cube Software’s Website: iQuarterback

Take a Chance on ‘Taking Chance’ March 1, 2009

It’s rare that a movie has a profound effect on me. I love movies and all, but I usually have no trouble taking them for what they are … entertainment.

But late one night last week, I stumbled upon a movie that I’ve been having trouble getting out of my mind. It was that stirring. I have a habit of turning on the TV when I get into bed, and generally go to sleep with either a movie or music playing. Last Sunday night, I decided to check HBO to see if anything good was on. A movie was playing, but it seemed to be a little different from a standard film. I recognized pretty quickly that Kevin Bacon seemed to be the star, and I have to admit that while I initially had no idea what the movie was about, I was pretty captivated to keep watching.

I eventually grabbed the ol’ iPod Touch and did a search. I learned that the movie I was watching was Taking Chance, a film produced by HBO and based on the true story of PFC Chance Phelps (who, I learned, was posthumously promoted to the rank of Lance Corporal) as told by Lt. Col. Michael Strobl.

Here’s the trailer:

Now it’s not like there are plenty of war movies and military based films out there, especially in a time of war. But this one is very, very different. It tells a side of the story that most of us – myself included – are unaware of: The great detail and care that goes into the process of returning a fallen soldier to his or her family. Even beyond that is the story of how these heroes impact the strangers they encounter after their death.

Taking Chance manages to tell this touching story without being over sentimental. And touching it is. Movies have made me cry before. That’s no surprise. (Uh, Old Yeller, anyone?) But what stunned be about this one is how I, too, felt a deep sense of loss for the individuals portrayed in the movie. Rarely has a movie immediately moved me to prayer. ‘Taking Chance’ did that too.

And beyond the impact that the film has, Kevin Bacon does a fantastic job of showcasing oh-so-subtlely the emotions that Strobl is forced to deal with. The officer clearly has regrets about his desk job while other soldiers are in combat zones around the world. And he also appears to be taken aback by the response of those he encounters along his trip, not to mention  portraying how Strobl felt both deeply honored and sheepishly uncomfortable.

It goes without saying that I highly recommend watching the film. If nothing else, though, take a few minutes to read “Taking PFC Phelps Home,” written by Strobl. This is the journey entry on which the film is based, and, well, is basically just a written script of the movie.

If you’ve got HBO, check it out! Here’s a schedule of when the film is being shown: HBO.com – Taking Chance

What the Wha? January 26, 2009

If it’s been too long since I’ve posted, it’s because I’ve been getting lost in my own life a little bit. Not that anything bad has happened – not at all. It just seems that I went from a life I knew and was comfortable with to this new existence that is unfamiliar and, well, not mine. 

First it was a new house. Waking up in a new place has taken some getting used to. Finding new routes to stores, restaurants, and work has been a fun challenge. Dealing with new issues that aren’t common in an apartment but are common in houses has been frustrating. Looking out my window and seeing trees and grass instead of a bar has been wonderful. 

Now it’s the new job. When I wake up in that new place every morning, I put on an unfamiliar name tag, pull out of an unfamiliar drive way, take an unfamiliar route to an unfamiliar building, and spend my day in a sea of unfamiliar faces sitting at unfamiliar desks. I work in an unfamilar operating system with an unfamiliar CMS on an unfamiliar Website with unfamiliar pages, styles, and policies. 

(There’s certainly some good unfamiliarity going on too. I’m enjoying getting to know someone new and having a lot of fun in that budding relationship.)

It’s not that the job and the house are bad necessarily. It’s just all so very different that at one point today – while I was washing my hands at the unfamiliar sink in the unfamiliar ladies’ room in the unfamiliar office where I now work – that I wondered whose life I’d fallen into. I briefly wondered how to get back to my old life, then scolding myself for such negative thinking. 

Change is inevitable. I could have lived in my tiny apartment forever … sure. And I could have stayed in my ridiculous fun job forever … absolutely. But I’m aware that in time, everything will fall into place and the house, the job, the relationship, and all of the things that seem so horribly out of place will suddenly feel like they’ve been there all along …

… or so I hope.

Facing a Moral Quandary January 5, 2009

Last night at about 11, someone knocked on my door. Now since I just moved to a new house, I’m a little bit apprehensive. I don’t really know much about my new neighborhood. I went from the relative safety of a crowded apartment complex, where I lived safely on the second floor, to what feels like a very exposed house. My oldest brother told me a needed to stop watching Law & Order: SVU when I told him that I didn’t want my bed under a window last week.

According to him, I’m neurotic. But I don’t really feel like I’m neurotic. I feel like someone who worked the crime beat at a newspaper, someone who spent every morning for several months reading police report after police report about the terrible things that people do to other people. 

So when the late-night knock at the door came, I was a bit nervous. But thinking that it might just be that very older brother, I flipped on the front porch light and answered the door. When I opened it, there stood a woman about my age. I’d never seen her before in my life. 

She asked if we happened to have an infant that drank soy formula. I told her that, no, all we had was a cat. I motioned to the fat beast on the floor by the door as I said that. Now as this is all going down, I’ve got a lot of thoughts running through my head:

• It’s 11 p.m. and this woman has a hungry baby at home. 
• It’s 11 p.m. and this woman has a man in the car waiting to help her rob me. 
• It’s 11 p.m. and this woman is scoping out my house for a burglary at a later time when I’m not home. 

She told me the name of the street where she lived, which naturally meant nothing to me since I’m new to the neighborhood, and said she was about $10 short to buy formula. My natural reaction is one of compassion. This woman was desperate enough to be knocking on strangers’ doors late at night in order to feed her baby. I had absolutely no cash on me – I rarely do. And I knew I didn’t have any cash because I’d had to pay for a $1.75 purchase at the gas station with my debit card earlier in the day. But I also knew that the “I’m sorry, I have no cash” excuse landed hollow – and probably as untruthful – to her ears. 

I wanted to get my purse to double check, and to show her that, in fact, I had no cash to give her. I would have been glad to share a $20 with her if I’d had it available. But I didn’t have it. And I’m smart enough to not a.) turn my back on a stranger at my door, and b.) get & open my wallet in front of a stranger at the door. 

The only thing I could think to do was to follow her to the grocery store and buy some formula with my debit card. But before I’d worked through my head if that, too, was insanely risky, she said OK and turned to leave. I wished her luck, closed the door, and felt terrible. 

Had I just left a desperate mother with a hungry baby out to continue knocking on doors? Or had I just averted something potentially bad from happening to me? Chances are, it was the former, not the latter. And I can’t get that off of my mind.

I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that a couple of of things were odd about it. First of all, wouldn’t she have realized before 11 p.m. on a Sunday night that she was out of formula? And while it could just be the uncertainty of being in a new house in a new neighborhood, something just didn’t seem quite right about the whole thing. I can’t explain what it was. But something seemed off enough to make me hesitate before I offered to go with her to the grocery store.

It makes me sad to realize that we live in a world where we have to consider our own safety before we can help out our neighbor. My own beliefs tell me to help my neighbor. So I had no cash to hand her. I had no formula to give her. I could have gotten in my car, driven to the grocery store, and bought some formula. And that feels to me like that would have been the right thing to do. I could have helped someone who probably needed it. But as I was running through my head whether or not that was a smart thing to do, she turned to leave. 

If it happened again, I’m still not sure that I’d feel comfortable going out that late with a stranger to the store. But I think I would do something differently. I’d probably take the risk, get a friend on the phone on the way to the store, and hope that I was doing the right thing – and not driving into my own demise! (Yes, that’s probably a bit overdramatic).  

But I did go to the ATM today and took out a few $20s. Next time, I’ll be prepared …

… but probably no less neurotic.

Mi Casa Nuevo January 4, 2009

They say what you do on New Year’s Eve is representative of what you will spend the year doing. I really hope that’s not the case. My New Year’s Eve was spent moving my every world possession … and moving just isn’t fun. With the help of my awesome family, though, we have managed to get our house largely unpacked and are getting settled in with just  a few days. The walls are currently bright white, there are no curtains up, and there’s still some basics in progress (namely, get a refrigerator! I bought a new refrigerator this past week, but Home Depot, God bless it, requires 7 days for delivery. We’re currently depending on Mother Nature to keep the Coke Zero cool out on the back patio!). 

But here are a few photos of the little work in progress:

The living room

Refrigeratorless kitchen: Uno

Refrigeratorless kitchen: Dos

My room - still LOTS to do in here!

The backyard. I think it will look prettier in the spring.

So that’s where it stands right now. It’s really nice to be out of the apartment, which had literally half the space as the house. And I’m a stand-in-the-sun-with-my-own-little-patch-of-green kind of person, so having a little space to get outside and work is a going to be a very welcome change. 

Bootzilla, on the other hand, is struggling to adapt to the new house. He’s had crying fits every night, which means I’ve been giving in and letting him into my room each night. *sigh* I will be a pushover as a parent, there’s no doubt, if I can’t even remain strong to the mournful meows of my cat. He gets a little less anxious each day, though, so hopefully he’ll feel at home soon.

Until then, we’ll just keep dosing him up with catnip!

Do They Know It’s Christmas? December 21, 2008

Times are tough. There’s no denying it. In Springfield in this week alone, the signs of hard times are everywhere. More than 400 jobs will be lost in February when a large call center that has been a staple of this area for some time closes shop. That comes on the tail end of a number of plant closures and lay offs. The city has announced a hiring freeze. And my employer has done the same. (Side story here: My employer announced the hiring freeze four days … yes, four days … after I gave notice to leave for my new job. So now my team can’t hire a replacement. *sigh* I considered rescinding my resignation, but I realized that doing so would be a temporary fix to a long-term problem. So I leave my team, which is made up of two people that I genuinely care about, one person short indefinitely. It, frankly, sucks.) 

With signs of the economic downturn all around, the predictions for a lackluster holiday season are pouring in. I saw firsthand just how bad it was. Last Wednesday, I went out to finish up the remainder of my Christmas shopping. I spent almost two hours at Target trying to find some good gifts, and I noticed something. While the store was busier than, say, a Wednesday night in September, it was nothing like I would have expected to see at 8 p.m. on  Wednesday night a week before Christmas. Then I noticed that the music in the store seemed to be a little lower than usual. It’s almost like a conscious decision was made: “Let’s play some cheerful music, but let’s do it quietly. Let’s not rub it in, the joy of Christmas in times of struggle.” 

Then I made my way back to the decor & gift wrap section. It looked virtually untouched. Everything was fully stocked and perfectly aligned. It looked like what you might expect to see in late October when Christmas decor first gets put out (which is ridiculous in and of itself). Then it hit me … this “recession” they speak of, these bad times that are plastered on the news but still seem somehow far removed … it’s all very much real. And it’s all very much right here. 

And I wasn’t sure whether I should be happy or sad. For those who have lost their jobs, or are worried about losing their jobs, or are struggling to make ends meet, I am deeply saddened. And I will do what I can to help when I see places to help. But part of me felt relieved. 

Because maybe this year, we’ll all be able to take a break from the hustle & bustle and actually experience what Christmas is all about. What I love, and what I have always loved, about Christmas is that thrill, that feeling of joy & giving & love that has carried forth from the first Christmas through today. It’s easy to see that there are a lot of people that aren’t feeling especially “Christmasy” this year. Fewer lights are hung on houses. Store shelves are disturbingly full. And a lot of people are feeling the stress of a tight budget even more. And my wish is that those people will all relax, surround themselves with the people they love, and take a day to celebrate and to feel the hope & love that is what Christmas is all about. 

Is this a cheesy post? Absolutely!! Am I embarrassed to be posting it? Just a little bit. But I think we can all gain a lot by slowing down, taking the stress out of Christmas, and just remembering why it is that we spend some much time, energy, and – right or wrong – money celebrating Christmas. To steal the lyrics from one of my favorite Christmas songs, it’s “The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.” 

Merry Christmas!!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year December 7, 2008

Things have been a little quiet around here lately, and I’m really going to try to be better about posting more regularly again. Last week was crazy busy, but in a good way!

For one, I’ve got one big change in the works, and another potential big change that may or may not happen. First of all, I’m moving! We found a really good deal on a house that’s undergone a complete renovation and is twice the size of our current apartment, so on December 31 it’s goodbye tiny apartment, hello house with a big yard. I love working out in the yard, so I’m really excited to finally have my own little patch of grass to play with! 

As for the potential change, I’d better wait to share too many details for now … but a hint? It could mean big changes on the job front. 

Other than running around signing leases, getting moving boxes, and packing up the closets, there’s a lot of excitement going on that’s typical of this time of year. My birthday was last Monday, and it was hands-down one of the best ever. I had two incredible surprises on my actual birthday, including an unbelievably decorated apartment when I woke up – complete with waiting presents – and a surprise visit from my parents, who drove 6 hours roundtrip to take me to lunch … and I had no idea they were coming until they walked into my office at noon! My birthday also featured a whirlwind visit from my special someone the weekend before, and so many friends and family members took time out of their days to call, stop by, or drop me a line. It was a great day!! 

This week looks to be just as busy! I’ve got two work-related social events this week, an intense appointment related to the potential job news, Christmas shopping to do, two days volunteering for domestic violence training at the law enforcement academy next weekend, and a night out with a few friends & acquaintances to celebrate Stratti & Aaron’s temporary return to the Ozarks. Crazy! 

I’m really going to try to be better about posting more regularly than I have been, but if there’s another big lapse in posts, well, you’ll know why!